Riley's Story Part 2

Sorry for the lack of posts, last week was a really stressful week as far as school goes. I only have 2 more weeks left in the Spring semester (thank goodness). Anyway to continue on with Riley's story. 

After everyone knew that I was pregnant, it was a relief, but I was still scared and worried. I have worked with children for years; I loved children, but didn't know if I wanted children of my own. I even thought about having my tubes tied, or some sort of permanent birth control, after I had Riley, but my doctor said that I was too young and would probably change my mind. I definitely changed my mind after having Riley; I definitely want at least one more little one. Anyhow. I was scared because I didn't know how I was going to raise this child; I knew that for the most part it would be me taking care of her and not the "donor". I decided, though I knew the outcome, to give "donor" a chance to prove that he could be a good dad and take care of his responsibilities. Well that didn't last long, he said he was going to pay for my prenatal visits, so we went to the first appointment, and to no surprise he couldn't pay. After that visit, I didn't hear from him, I did get some harassing phone calls and emails from him. I let him drift off to the side in order to have a care free pregnancy. 

There are a lot of things happened during my pregnancy (i.e. a very bad relationship), but I will leave that for another post. So July 16th was my due date, little Miss Riley didn't want to make her appearance, so my doctor scheduled me to be induced on the 18th at 8 in the morning. I could not wait to meet my princess, to hold her for the first time and to see what she looked like. Throughout my whole pregnancy I walked with my mom between 3 and 5 miles a night. The last week of pregnancy, that walk was tough, but I made it. July 17th, the walk was miserable, I know that I was have real contractions and I would have to stop, but my mom said keep on trekking your water hasn't broke yet. Of course I did all the jumping up and down stairs I could that night and mainly because I could not sleep from excitement. (Side note "donor" was not present during any of this; I will get back to that in a moment.) About 5 am rolls around and I am starting to notice my contractions are more consistent, but there is no reason to go in now, so I waited until it was time (me trying to be patient, nearly impossible). I got to the hospital and they confirmed I was in active labor (yay); the doctor came in broke my water and it went pretty quick from there. After she broke my water, my contractions were more intense, I was already 3 centimeters dilated and 75% effaced when I got to the hospital (thank goodness). They decided to give me Pitocin which my body did not like, I fell asleep and woke up to a nurse standing over top of me jabbing my belly with a needle. Apparently I was contracting too long with the Pitocin, which causes the oxygen supply to the baby to be cut off. So they stopped the Pitocin and just let me do my thing, the nurses and doctor said it would be after dinner time before Riley was here. They doctor did not check on me but once, she came at about 12:30, she checked and looked really shocked, she said you are fully dilated. WHATTTTTT!!! Labor is supposed to last forever right?!?!?! I was freaking out at that point, but it was time to push. I pushed once; they thought I would be pushing for hours as well. Well the nurse had to run down the hall to catch the doctor, so the doctor could catch my baby. Riley basically came out on her own. Two pushes and she was out. My doctor said next time I am pregnant at about 36 weeks I have to stay put, she is afraid the baby will fly out on its own. Okay enough of all the L&D stuff. 

So let’s skip ahead to September, which makes Riley 2 months old. I decided to go ahead and call Riley's "donor" and let him know she is here. I felt like he should know that she is here and healthy, and he should be in her life if he so desires. I called him at about 11 or 12 one night and he drove over that minute to come see her. He seemed really excited and like he wanted to be in her life. Over the next few months it was HELL. He was dating this girl who was trying to be involved in every way of the situation, even if it meant causing unnecessary drama. And if you know me I absolutely hate drama. We went to mediation and he gave me legal and physical custody, he just had visitation (at my discretion). In February he told me he wanted to sign his right over, because he was moving out of town and wouldn't see Riley again. He didn't want to have to be responsible to pay child support and all that jazz. We went to mediation, (the mediator was a joke and sided with him) he asked for every other weekend, I was in shock. How do you go from wanting to sign your rights away to wanting every other weekend? At this point Riley was 7 months old, she was breastfeeding still, and did not take a bottle. There was no way in HELL (I have to emphasize) I was letting my child stay with him for a weekend, for one I didn't trust him, and she how was he going to feed her? Last time I checked men still do not lactate. Needless to say, I walked straight out of that office without signing a paper. I got court papers in March, he wanted a paternity test. I just laughed and went to court for the test. In June we had the hearing in court, and the judge literally laughed in his face when she read the results. Her exact words were "No surprise here, you are the father". About 2 days after court he text messaged me asking if my lawyer still had papers drawn up for him to sign his rights away. I said yes, we meet the next day and he signed the papers. A week after Riley's birthday in July I got the papers from the judge with her signature. His rights have been forfeited, and Riley was mine. 

It was definitely a huge sigh of relief, I didn't have to worry about my child being taking from me to a home I didn't know what was going on at. I don't have to worry about going to court over stupid things and child support. Another part of me was sad and still is sad. Sad for my little Riley. I know that she has more people in her life that love her so much, that anyone could ask for, but nothing have a father is hard for me to imagine. I grew up knowing my dad; he took good care of us kids and still does. It is always weird for me to imagine that she doesn't know who her real father is, and the fact that she has aunts and uncles, cousins etc. that she won’t get to know until she is older (if she even decides to get to know them). So many times I have wanted to reach out to his family and even him, but I know that will stir up drama and open up a can of worms I am not willing to deal with right now. I feel like I will know when the time is right to deal with answering all the questions Riley has. I feel like I shouldn't do anything until she starts questioning and wants to know certain things. I kept a journal during the whole time of every interaction I had with him. And for now as far as Riley knows she has a daddy. She hears us call my dad, daddy so that’s what she calls him and if you ask her who her daddy is she will tell ya Scott Guthrow. 

So this is more or less the whole story of little miss Riley. Her first year of life was one of my roughest years ever. It has only made me a stronger person, I definitely don't understand why I have been through all that I have right now, but I am sure I will know one day. For now I will count my blessings and praise God that I have my child and do not have to worry if she is somewhere not being taken care of, being abused, or any other unimaginable thing. 

I hope you all take a moment and thank God for your children, family, any and everything you have. Even though things get tough, you get stressed out, frustrated, angry, and every other emotion that comes along with being a parent. At the end of the day, I would not change one single thing in my life. It has all lead me to where I am and right now I am in a pretty good place in life. 

Have a wonderful night everyone!